I am back from being ill. Here is some humor I found.
And I found things that are fun in card websites to share.
No comment on my being away due to illness. Just say asthma has taken my breath away.
Some Funny Things to Ponder
Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,
some have weird names, and all are different colors
...but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
http://www.superlaugh.com/1/sponder.htm
This is beautiful. A conversation with God.
http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=1135
Brought To You By: www.Momentswithgod.com
A Memo From God
To: YOU
Date: Today
From: God
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
- If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
- Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.
- Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
- Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
- Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
- Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
- Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
- Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
- Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=705&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
Ohhh this is bad!
What's The Best Food To Eat On Halloween?
http://www.bellagreetings.com/hal/card.php?ID=1778&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
More Hand Drawn Greetings from http://www.wowecards.com/
Is this the wish?
Happy Birthday, May All Your Wishes Come True!
http://www.wowecards.com/ecards/bdaywoman.php
Adult humor: Mr Bean is here!
Black Market Viagra Trend
Due to high prices on the pharmacutical market, the Viagra Black Market has produced a much cheaper version of the pill which is available to a larger market due to the low price. ... con't.
http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=939&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
You Must See This Picture of My New Family!Dear Mom and Dad,I have moved in with Leo and his family.They have taken me in as one of their own. Sincerely, Lamb Chop
The Dream InterState is filled with "Bathroom" signs along the freeway.
Haha! Too bad there aren't more like this. http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=1131&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
What would my cats do for this cat nip?
The Laughing Psycho Kitty Cat
http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=1669&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
What if John Kerry was a Woman? Very SCARY THOUGHT! But FUNNY!
http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=1586&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
If Women Ruled The World
- PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. - Men would get reputations for sleeping around. - A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing. - Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
- Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. - Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. - Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made. - Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
- Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. - Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit." - Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. - Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
- Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. - All toilet seats would be nailed down. - Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. - TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
- All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator - During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds. - Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. - After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. http://www.bellagreetings.com/1/card.php?ID=677&PHPSESSID=29e59077bdb3b62b478adf75a0e1466b
Praying Kitty
"Please God don't let them spade me..."
(picture a little white kitten on it's back legs with it's front paws together!)
Aww! How cute!
posted by LadyIrene @ 9/21/2006 03:59:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home