My Dragon's Lair Sharing is the reason for my being...: Fine Living Office Survival

Six Easy Steps to Perfect Office Etiquette (101)
Office etiquette isn't what it used to be. Over the years, the rules of behavior in the office have evolved into... what?

From what you wear, to how you sit, even to how you eat, everything you do affects your chances of surviving and succeeding at work. But who knows which actions will make you the most valuable to your employer?

Wonder no longer, as office protocol experts break challenging business situations into six scenarios and their corresponding rules. Follow their advice and you can start acting on your work instead of working on your act.

Survival Guide : Episode FLSUR-101

Whether you're trying to impress with a proper business wardrobe, taking on new management duties or treading the choppy waters of potential office romance, there are survival tactics that can help you make, not break, your career. A 1997 study says that 40 percent of new management hires fail in their first job. The reason? They fail to build good relationships with peers and subordinates. Three experts have pooled their notes to give crucial advice on these critical issues. They are Cynthia Lett, Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals; Michelle Conlin, Working Life Editor at Business Week; and Stephanie Solomon, Fashion Director at Bloomingdales. Follow these steps to become a more powerful, promotable employee.

#1 — Make a Strong Impression
Your first day on the job or your first time meeting a new client or co-worker is your first chance to create an image as a professional — and as a go-getter. A good handshake lasts about three seconds, with one or two pumps from the elbow. It should be firm, but not crushing and always at waist level, never too far above or below. If you're introducing the new secretary to the CEO, introduce "down," not "up." For example, "Mr. CEO, I'd like to introduce you to the new secretary," not the other way around. The key to making the name stick is repetition. So say the person's name when you greet them. Then use the name once during the conversation and finally use the name when you say goodbye and the name should surely stick in your memory. Remember, you're being judged every minute that you're in the company of co-workers or the boss, even at dining or business-social engagement. Another basic rule that's often neglected, but according to the experts has the biggest payoff: always return your phone calls.

#2 — Develop the Right Look
Sure, you want to look great at work, but you'll also need to focus on looking great for the job, and for the company you work at. If you only purchase one thing, make it a great-fitting jacket. If this means spending the money to take it to a tailor by all means do so. If you work at a company that will tolerate a mini skirt, try it with tights or high boots-it's much less revealing than bare legs. A black marker covers shoe scuffs.

#3 — E-mail with Confidence
Many a professional ship has been sunk with a hasty e-mail. Never ever send an e-mail to deal with anything that's sensitive or that could lead to a conflict, and never use informal "Emoticons" in business e-mails. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MEANS YOU'RE YELLING, so be sure to avoid that as well. Use "carbon copy" only to schedule events involving groups of people, and whenever you're using e-mail for business, stick with a business format. A good rule of thumb: Praise in public, criticize in private. A sense of discretion in such matters will help you build teams and build respect for yourself.

#4 — Speak with Your Body
About 65 percent of the information a person conveys is the result of body language, and only 20 percent comes from the content of the words that are spoken. Be careful not to put your hands in front of your mouth. That's says, "I'm not sure what I'm saying. I'm very shy and you really shouldn't be listening to me." When speaking to a group, keep your palms open, your hands at your waist and your elbows very close to your body. This shows you are confident about what you're saying and you want them to believe what you're saying. When it comes time for a meeting, remeber that the most advantageous seat at the meeting is not right next to the leader, but one person away from him or her. That way you can maintain stronger eye contact with the leader. Leaning means 99 percent of your power is lost.

#5 — Dine Your Way to the Top
In a business situation, when dining, the food is not the point. It's more about the conversation that you have and your chance to get to know the other person. If you are a guest at a meal, order something in the mid-price range. If you order the most expensive item in a course, then you are saying, "I am going to take advantage of you." Avoid super messy or hard to eat foods including French onion soup, spaghetti, lobster or ribs, and remember, the host always pays for the meal. To really score points, before the meal starts, inform the manager that you'd like to have the bill paid to your credit card and not brought to the table. It's a great way to avoid a fight over the bill, and raise your prestige.

#6 — Navigate Office Romance
Since you spend so many hours at the office, there's bound to be at least some temptation to get romantically entwined with someone from work. If you're considering an office romance, don't. If you decide that's not good advice, ask yourself, "How important is my job?" You may very well lose it as the result of an office romance. Before you take up with a co-worker, decide if you're willing to change jobs if the romance doesn't work out. If you're not, don't yield to the temptation. If you must date someone from work, try to make it someone who doesn't work in your immediate surroundings. And above all else, keep your personal life out of the office. When it comes to sharing personal issues at work, another rule of thumb is to only share things that you wouldn't mind reading in tomorrow's newspaper.

Resources: Cynthia Lett - Founder and president of the Lett Group
Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals
More business is lost by faux pas than you may realize. Learn the skills that will take you to the highest of achievement. The Lett Group will be your coach.
Business Etiquette, Manners and International Protocol from The Lett Group.

We are experts and professional consultants of Etiquette, International Protocol and Communication Skills. We have many years of expertise in training executives, professionals and would-be rainmakers in the critical skills of business and social etiquette, consultancy, personal marketing and interpersonal communications.

The Lett Group is one of the first and most respected etiquette and protocol training companies in the world.

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