My Dragon's Lair Sharing is the reason for my being...: New Dosage from Your Daily Fun Dose

F.Y.I If you don't see a link back to the bloggers site, it didn't come from there.

"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." ~ Albert Einstein

How To Handle Irritating Person On A Plane?
If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up.
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
6. Then hit this link: http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

Note : Do it at your own risk :--)) Invite: Can you think of any other way? Share!

10 Ways To Be Annoying

Ever wanted to annoy people around you , here are some useful tips for getting started.

If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you re a spider person.
When attending a movie you ve already seen, yell out: Don t let him in! He s the killer!
When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: I hope I fixed it this time.
Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it s full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
Insist that life is one big musical, then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.

How To Be Annoying Online

1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").

2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!

3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.

4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."

5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.

6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore (vice.president@whitehouse.gov ) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.

7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.

*This article first appeared in Spy, July/August 1994.

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Funny Signs in Great Britain

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

Actual Country Song Titles - Hilarious

She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
7. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
8. I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal
9. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cause I m Kissing You Good-bye
10. I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin Better
12. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I m Afraid She'd Win
13. I ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
14. I m So Miserable Without You, It s Like Having You Here
15. Please Bypass this Heart?
16. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
17. Mama Get a Hammer ,There's a Fly On Papa's Head
18. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
19. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

If you know about another such funny song title, please add them!

Funny Church Bulletins

The following are the announcements that actually appeared in various church bulletins around the world. If you think deeply you will see the humor.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
1. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
2. There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.